THE WORST REVIEW WINNER…SUMMER 2009!

Happy autumn, everyone. To kick off the new season, as promised, I am announcing the second winner of THE WORST REVIEW EVER…

KATHI APPELT!

I suppose it’s fitting, given that Kathi seems to have made winning awards a bit of a hobby. Now, thanks to this review of Kathi’s THE UNDERNEATH, she can add her WRE Award to the long list that includes…the Newbery Honor Book Award, the Children’s Choice Award, the Parent’s Choice Award, the Teacher’s Choice Award, the Oppenheimer Gold Award, the Storytelling World Award, the Growing Good Kids Award, the Teddy Award, the Texas Institute of Letters Award, the Best Books for Young Adults Award, the VOYA Top of the Shelf Award, and more (whew!).

Of the three prize options (and after much insistence that she accept a prize!), Kathi has chosen to receive the wine.com gift card (value: $50…yes, the economy has forced me to slash the prize budget. Sorry). Now, here’s Kathi accepting her award:

“Wowie wow wow!!!! I have to say, I went back to the site and read the wonderful comments that folks left and it made me feel just great. I believe that there are far more nice folks in the world than tacky folks (even though the latter lately seem to be the loudest). And while your offer of such a great prize is so so sweet and tempting, I want to gift the prize back to you, oh wondrous web master and thinker of this great idea. You deserve it far more than I do. In fact, I should send you a prize! If you'll send me your home mailing address, I'll do just that. Thank you so much. I loved participating, and who knows I may show up again. I doubt old Joe is the last of my detractors.”

HURRAY, KATHI--and huge kudos and thanks to everyone who participated.

Now, a brand-new season of THE WORST REVIEW EVER begins. So please send ‘em if you’ve got ‘em…and keep checking in to vote on the winter 2009 contenders!

PETTICOAT RANCH BY MARY CONNEALY

At long last! A new review! (And it's the final one of the season, so make sure you vote for all of the summer's contenders, conveniently listed at right. The winner will be announced Tuesday the 22nd.) This one comes from historical rom-com novelist Mary Connealy. Here’s just a tiny taste of what one reader had to say—in two different locations, no less—about Mary’s 2007 debut, PETTICOAT RANCH:

ONE STAR
Demeaning Women: Strong Women Taught to Cower to Men, it deserves a Zero
“It has been a long time since I have been so angry and disgusted with a book. I held high hopes throughout the first few chapters, but with each passing comment I became more and more disgusted… It's pathetic. There is no equality in this marriage, no matching of pairs of equal responsibility… What is inspirational about a book that leaves this man the way he is? A book that demeans and portrays strong women cowering to men? Women pretending to be weak? DO NOT READ”

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Ahhh! Don’t you just love that anyone with an internet connection can leap online and share their thoughts so freely—and in multiple places? Now let’s hear what Mary has to say:

When and where did this review appear?
This review appeared on Barnes and Noble's website and also, word for word, on www.cbd.com (Christian Book Distributors). It appeared on March 10, 2007, about one month after the book was released. It was the second review posted.

How did you happen upon the review?
I was reading reviews hoping to find only glowing words that would be a balm to my fragile ego. Of course.

How did you feel immediately after seeing the review?
I was horrified! But seriously...there might be a lot of things you can say about my book, but demeaning to women? The women in this book are so independent and self-sufficient they can barely let a man into their lives. It struck me as very strange, and I concluded that maybe the reviewer was trying to hurt me personally.

Did you do anything in response to the review?
I emailed someone on the CBD site and asked if they ever took down reviews. They said they didn't unless they were obscene or libelous.

What other steps did you take in an effort to assuage your pain?
I ate my usual Twinkies. As always, that worked perfectly.

How long did it take you to get over the pain and humiliation of the review (assuming you got over it)?
Whether it's true or not, I was able to just let it go as something personal. I even think I know who may have written it. There are a couple of lukewarm reviews of this book, but mostly they're really nice.

What, if anything, positive came from receiving your WORST…REVIEW…EVER?
I've actually had a fairly good time sharing that nasty review--mainly because when people see it they just say, "Demeaning to women?!" Whatever may be wrong with Petticoat Ranch is it not demeaning to women.

Okay, then! You know the drill. Time to rate Mary's pain:

1 star = That wasn't so bad
2 stars = Yeah, that would hurt
3 stars = Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
4 stars = Beyond harsh, cruel, and unusual punishment
5 stars = Definitely the WORST. REVIEW. EVER.

VOTE NOW--VOTE! VOTE!

Wondering why there have been so few posts lately? It comes down to a few (perhaps obvious) things:

1. It was summer.
2. I was busy.
3. Either people aren't getting panned like they used to or they, too, have been busy—at least, too busy to submit their worst reviews ever.

I do have at least one more to post before this season draws to a close, so look out for that imminently. In the meantime, if you haven't already voted for this season's contenders, or you want to change your vote (the voting widget will remember you), please do so ASAP! The autumn equinox is less than a week away, meaning the summer season’s WORST. REVIEW. EVER. will be announced Tuesday, the 22nd (and the winner will receive a fabulous, pain-numbing prize of his or her choice).

And hey, if you think you've got a worst review to top the ones currently in the summer running...shoot it over to me real quick-like!